


Eros!!! on Pole

by sushicorps (Inclinant)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Pole Dancing, Crack, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Pole Dancing, Warning: Yuuri's stream of consciousness about Viktor, Yuuri: It's called Pole Aerobics dammit!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 18:39:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9198161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inclinant/pseuds/sushicorps
Summary: Katsuki Yuuri is a professional pole fitness teacher.Professional, mind you.But good lord, will having to teach one Viktor Nikiforov be the absolute death of him.You know, if he can get the other to stop thinking he’s just the receptionist first.





	

For Viktor, it’s all very simple:

 

“I’m a bit bored of ballet,” He complains one afternoon and Chris (of course it’s Chris) just slings a lazy arm over his shoulder and offers the perfect answer.

 

“You should try pole; I know the best studio in town.”

 

* * *

 

 

For Yuuri, it goes a bit like this:

 

He’s under the front desk, trying to find the schedule for his new class for spring amidst the piles of papers and boxes when the entrance bell rings and a man steps in, _huh_ , which is rare and interesting because they mostly get women asking about their classes. After all, Yuuri’s one of the few teaching male pole athletes around in the _world_ and by few, he means he can literally count them all on his hands - that guy from Canada, the other guy from Switzerland...

 

“Hi, is this the Er-“

 

“Yes it is-” He shoots up, knocking his head on the way and then completely, embarrassingly and never-let-me-see-the-light-of-day-again-ly _freezes._ The two boxes still in his hands begin to tilt over, in slow-motion, papers spilling out one by one until they fan out all over the floor between him and the…

 

...totally not the person on his phone wallpaper and lock screen and Line chat background and laptop the thousands of posters around his little office in the back _and_ has totally idolised since he was a child and _kami save him_ he’s even more handsome in person and Yuuri really wants to go to the window and scream to the world that _VIKTOR NIKIFOROV JUST WALKED INTO HIS POLE DANCING STUDIO-_

 

...Wait.

 

Oh.

 

_No._

 

“Um,” The other starts and Yuuri jumps, the papers go flying, one pile smacking Viktor in the face and the rest fluttering sadly to the floor like the remains of Yuuri’s dignity even as he dives down to gather them and hits the edge of the table _again_ and frankly _,_ by this point, he’s really hoping the earth will just open up and swallow him.

 

It’s not that big of a request, right? Just a nice, metre wide hole, just nice enough to vanish him from the face of this Earth but leave Viktor well and there alone to continue skating with his perfect face and beautiful routines on the ice to bring joy and happiness to the world-

 

And Yuuri remembers that he is supposed to be a decent and functional member of society and a responsible representative of the studio he’s part partner and head instructor of. The studio at which Viktor is no doubt here for _very serious purposes_ so he most definitely does not give a loud _eep!_ when he tries to stand and sees Viktor’s face very close to his.

 

It’s more like, a medium-ish loud one.

 

Outside, the Tokyo summer sun is so hot it could scorch an egg but Yuuri is a thousand percent positive his flaming cheeks’ got the sun beat.

 

Viktor frowns down at him, worry creasing his brow and lips a thin, pressed line. Huh, Yuuri thinks to himself, he’s never quite noticed the slight notch to Viktor’s brows before, or the way his lips are a really pale pink, mainly because on the ice everything is usually just a blur, usually a very pretty blur but-

 

“Are you alright?” Viktor asks, voice lower than he’d imagined before but with a certain softness to it that never seems to get caught on television or stream.

_Absolutely not_ , Yuuri thinks, but he nods frantically and shoots up to his feet, registering only then Viktor’s outstretched hand that the other is blinking at as he draws it back and Yuuri just rolls off ten swears in his mind, Japanese, English _and_ Russian, the last he had totally not picked up from scouring the Russian side of Viktor’s like a million fanpages. Nu-uh.

 

He forces himself to still and take a deep breath.

 

“C-Can I help you?” He manages, only remembering the throw on his best attempt at a welcoming smile from a perfectly happy and sane perspective at the very last minute.

 

“Yes, I’d like to sign up for pole classes,” Viktor says with an easy smile that looks infinitely better in real life than all HDTV and 1080p Youtube videos can deliver and Yuuri just nods and smiles, yes, just nod and smile.

 

That is totally not his general dignity, peace of mind and sanctity going up in flames in his mind right now as he reaches for his iPad to open a new personal particulars form.

 

Nope.

 

* * *

 

In another world, the Ice Castle remains open in Hasetsu and it is there that Yuuri takes refuge in, skating till it becomes natural as breathing and chasing after the skates of his idol and it all brings him to the world’s stage somehow…and to Viktor.

 

In this world, however, the Ice Castle at Hasetsu’s long closed down and while Yuuri takes to skating all the same, especially after Yuuko shows him that fateful video of Viktor’s skating, the rink at Fukuoka is a bit too expensive to visit regularly so it becomes just an occasional indulgence.

 

But he still dreams of graceful moves and gliding through the air and when Minako suddenly moves to set up a pole dance studio in Tokyo when he’s a freshman at Keio, the pole suddenly becomes an exhilarating stage that sings his name as he spins around it, cold like the ice and wild as any figure skating routine.

 

Years of ballet and a habitual regime of exercise borne from always trying to burn the weight that accumulates all too easily on his frame do their work and before he knows it, he’s in love with the spins and the lifts and the drops. So he abandons his offers from the banks and trading companies and joins his old ballet teacher when she offers a no-frills, tiny lot squashed into the third storey of an aging building complex and the floor plans for an amazing studio.

 

It’s a world that he can do all on his own and yeah, so it’s a world without one Viktor Nikiforov, but Yuuri’s _fine_ ; fine with watching his idol skate over the ice from Championship to Championship, Olympic to Olympic, fine with treasuring the skating that Viktor brings to the world deep in his heart.

 

And then one fine day, Viktor Nikiforov walks into his pole dance studio.

 

* * *

 

 

Yep, Yuuri’s fine.

 

Everything is going fine.

 

He totally has not had to replace the sliding door between the main studio where the poles are installed and the reception area, after walking into it like fifteen times.

 

In the first week.

 

Half of those times had been because Viktor on the pole was one hell of a distraction; the other half came about because _thinking_ of Viktor on the pole while trying not to stare at him on said pole was even more of a distraction.

 

It makes sense, a deadly amount of sense – of course Viktor would be terrifyingly good at pole – he’s got all the core strength and more that’s needed and the effortless grace from years of ballet and skating-

 

There is a loud crash and a sharp pain that’s beginning to feel terribly familiar blossoming across his forehead and Yuuri blinks as he finds himself staring at the glass pane of the studio doors.

 

And of course Viktor has to be in there, probably stayed behind after class alone again as he always does, correcting any last mistakes he might’ve made and Yuuri can see why he’d become the top in the world with such a perfectionist drive and what do you mean he might’ve been lowkey spying on him the entire way to know all this-

 

 _Why_ did Viktor have to practice hip circles so much though.

 

“…Yuuri!” Viktor says excitedly as he spots him, sliding down the practice pole and unwrapping his unfairly long legs from around it in a single smooth fluid motion and Yuuri can now proudly add cursing an actual piece of metal to oblivion to his list of notable moments even as he waves up the forms that he needs Viktor to sign.

 

…Okay, yes, it’s been a very trying month.

 

But know what?

 

Above all, all the handsome sideways grins as Viktor comes in for the beginner’s classes that he’s signed up for, all the ways he runs his towel down his neck and tosses his hair after class, all the ways he happily greets Yuuri on Saturday mornings with two cups of fresh coffee…

 

Above all _that_ , Viktor Nikiforov should be banned from saying the word Eros _ever._

 

Especially when the word Pole follows after it.

 

He doesn’t know whether he should strangle or thank his younger self, Yuuri thinks to himself as he struggles to keep a straight face and not just generally go weak in the knees and keel over behind the counter as he watches Viktor pour over the class forms that Yuuri had taken a while to get properly translated.

 

For some reason, the other just had to read every single word on the damn document.

 

Out.

 

Loud.

 

Which included his brilliantly named pole dance studio’s name. Look, he’d always been bad at naming things, but he’s starting to realise now exactly why a name like Eros on Pole is a terrible name, like _colossally_ terrible.

 

“Is that right?” Viktor asks, gaze flickering up through his fringe that always tumbles over his eyes and a gentle smile on his face which is there because Viktor is an incredibly nice person and Yuuri nods furiously even though he has absolutely no clue what Viktor had just said because his mind’s kinda still stuck on ‘Eros’.

 

“Okay~”

 

Viktor signs off on the form with a flourish, doodling a cute heart at the end which he probably does for all his signatures and slides it over the counter to Yuuri who collects it while sighing on the inside that he still doesn’t have a single signed copy in his poster collection.

 

“Don’t you have to go back to St. Petersburg,” He blurts out suddenly now that everything’s signed and official and then freezes again, hoping he hasn’t completely ruined the little bit of everything that they’ve been having.

 

Viktor blinks, tilting his head a little. “I’m sorry…?”

 

“I…you…skate-“ He forces himself to take a breath. “I mean, you are a skater, like, on ice, an ice skater, wait no, I mean, a figure skater…right? Like a pro? Skater? On ice?”

 

“Oh yes, I skate,” Viktor says cheerily and Yuuri just only manages to resist the urge to smack his face into the wooden counter, mainly because Viktor’s propped his elbows up on it, leaning forward and resting his chin on his hands with this crazy charmed expression on it.

 

“I’ve been on break from the ice since my surgery after the last Worlds, though.”

 

“Oh…” He remembers reading about the surgery in a tweet, remembers liking the insta photos that Viktor had posted after it.

 

“Ah, Yuuri! Have you ever seen me skate?”

 

“I have!”’ Yuuri says embarrassingly quickly and way too loudly but Viktor just laughs, slow and soft, silvery fringe gently falling over his blue eyes as they crinkle up, all lit up by the fading evening summer sun streaming in from the windows behind Yuuri.

 

“I’m glad.”

 

And Yuuri feels his heart actually trip over itself, heads over heels, tumbling all the way down into no return.

 

Okay.

 

Everything is _not_ going to be fine.

 

* * *

 

 

The only possible action now is therapy via katsudon.

 

Thankfully, Mari closes her little don and bento eatery tucked into a corner of the Yurakucho station early every first Wednesday of the month for them all to gather.

 

“It’s dancing,” Mari says, folding her arms over the parapet and letting the cleaning rag flop in her hands.

Yuuri takes a deep, deep breath.

 

“It’s called pole _aerobics_ ; it is a high intensity cardio sport that slims and tones your muscles while simultaneously being a good core strength training exercise and many find its moves empowerin-”

 

“Father and Mother would totally see it as pole dancing though,” Mari smirks and Yuuri gives up because he knows his sister’s got him beat. His parents had never gotten over the fact that he had given up promising offers as a salaryman to do his own thing. New Year reunions were…awkward, to say the least.

 

“C’mon Yuuri, you would want it to be dancing though,” Minako smirks as she leans over the table, swooping straight in front of Yuuri’s face who wants to cower but bursts out flailing instead because he can’t let Minako tell Mari or Yuuko about the newest student that he may have walked into the door twice and then dropped three files and an entire potted money plant when he had ran into him in the tiny reception area today.

To be fair, Viktor had been asking him if it was possible for him to have the accelerated one-on-one class, which only the head instructor did and he’ll have to check with him first – or so Yuuri had stammered that out, completely ignoring the loud voice in his head pointing out that he _is_ the head instructor.

 

“What with the _newcomer_ , hmm? I hear he’s asked for _individual lessons.”_

 

“Okay now, what’s with this newcomer-”

 

“It’s nothing-“Yuuri lunges over the table but it’s too late, Minako’s already tossing her hair to one side as she sits back, laying her arms along the armrests and crossing her legs like the queen that she is-

 

“You killed my favourite cactus by drowning it because Viktor stopped by to ask about his class schedule while you were watering it.”

 

Mari drops the cloth and Yuuko practically slams down the tray of katsudon bowls onto the table.

 

“Viktor? Wait, like-

 

“You can’t mean-“

_“Viktor Nikiforov?!”_

 

Well, that’s the cat out of the bag and Yuuri’s future hopes of peace and quiet in his life ever again, gone.

 

Forever.

 

Rest in peace.

 

Minako gives a long, dramatic sigh now, grinning positively wickedly as Yuuko and Mari crowd her chair eagerly for news.

 

“I bought that cactus back from Malaysia, Yuuri. Hand carried it on the plane myself-“

 

Yuuri shifts in his seat. “I’m not…I just, I’m not _obsessed_ with the man, you know, I just like his skating, that’s all-“

 

“My dearest idiot younger brother who still can’t do his ties properly has had all of three dates before- “Mari wags a finger at his outraged expression. “I know, I counted, and chased off that last girl who was all sorts of trouble myself, thank you. Let’s face it, you’ve had a crush on Viktor since you were like, eight.”

 

“Look,” Yuuri struggles to find the words, years of silent, distant wistful admiration colliding with an all too real slow, simple everyday charm that he’s been helpless to resist.

 

“He was always…this person out there, this…This amazing person, larger than life, an incredible skater that I could follow and admire to myself online,“ He wrings his hands, shakes his head. .

 

“But now he’s here and I know that he’s goes for runs at five in the morning and likes his coffee insanely sweet and his right ankle gives him trouble when it gets too cold and he hates swallowing pills but he’s got to take them and he’s scared of tiny lizards but has this tiny gecko plush that he loves -“

 

Mari sighs. “Yuuri-“

 

“Look, he thinks I’m just the receptionist okay – he keeps asking me all these questions about the classes and his schedule and forms-”

 

“It’s your fault for helping him settle all the forms and payment when he first came in, Yuuri, honestly – stop helping the man with his payment forms every class,” Minako eyes him, gaze narrowing like a cat’s.

 

“Or at least stop being so professional about it, Yuuri – you’re like this blushing robot, I swear.”

 

“I just!” He throws his arms up in exasperation. “I don’t want to be that…that fan, you know, that creepy person who just wants to get to know him because he’s well, my idol.

 

“I mean, I do! I do! Want to get to know him!” Yuuri gives up and buries his head in his hands.

 

“Of course I do, but I don’t have the right to exploit this trust he’s placed in me and the studio.”

 

“Especially not when he’s so nice and friendly and stays to chat with me every time he comes in for classes even though I’m sure he’s very busy doing whatever it is that he’s remaining in Tokyo for and then he actually brought me coffee last Saturday with that strawberry pondering from Mister Donut I mentioned I liked once and then he once gave me this nice bouquet of roses as a thank-you present I think-“

 

“Um,” Yuuko says slowly.

“I know he’ll be going back to Russia soon to go back to skating as soon as his break is up but-“

 

“Yuuri-”

 

“-for now I just want to treasure every moment that he’s actually here and talking to me, you know, and maybe by some miracle we’ll keep in contact or he’ll come back but I’m sure I’ll be okay if he just leaves and I never see him again because-“

 

Mari and Yuuko and Minako are just exchanging these looks right now, the I-love-you-but-god-are-you-stupid look and the fact that those looks are familiar to him speaks volumes about his life in general.

 

“What!?” He says, exasperatedly and Minako just groans.

 

“…Oh my god Yuuri, do you seriously think that Viktor’s that dumb to need help for the exact same form every single class?”

 

“…Wait what.”

 

* * *

 

 

He’s standing outside of the studio again in his white tee and exercise shorts for the past five minutes but more like eternity, forehead pressed against the studio door whose hinges were starting to be suspiciously squeaky again.

 

“Just go in,” Minako hisses, pushing him through the door to where Viktor is waiting, leaning casually against one of the poles in a simple plain black t-shirt and dark pants.

 

Yuuri takes a deep breath.

 

“Surprise!”

 

“…You’re not surprised.”

 

Viktor sighs and palms his fringe up, fingers trailing through his hair as he draws his hand through it in habit.

“…Yuuri, you’re on the studio’s website.”

 

“Oh.” Yuuri blinks, remembering now that yes, he is, on the website, in five videos and this giant profile section under the ‘About the Head Instructor’ tab that has about 35 photographs of him.

 

Also in various very see-through costumes, including a particular inspired skin-tight costume of black mesh and rhinestone.

 

 _“Oh_.”

 

Viktor pulls a face. “What do you mean _oh-“_

 

“Well,” Yuuri starts, rounding the pole Viktor’s backed up on purposefully. “Well, I mean, you can’t just expect me to know-“

 

“I gave you _roses_ -“

 

“Well, forgive me for being slow to believe that when I’ve had a crush on you since forever!”

 

Somehow he’s looking down at Viktor’s face as he scowls and only then does he register that he’s scaled the pole instinctively while they spoke, clinging onto it as if for dear life (and totally not so he can be half a head taller than the other.)

 

“Well, I like you too.”

 

Viktor beams and Yuuri suddenly really, really wants to kiss him.

 

So he does.

 

“Okay, but really Viktor,” He says as he pulls back because he is a professional. ”Your form on the back spiral is absolutely terrible.”

 

“Wha-“

 

“Let’s not even talk about your inversion-“

 

“You just said that you liked me!”

 

“And who’s the instructor here in this studio? My studio, my class, my rules.”

 

Viktor pouts. “So will you go out with me?”

 

“If you get that spiral correct by today, I’ll think about it.”

 

“Perfectionist,” Viktor grumbles and Yuuri just raises a brow in challenge.

 

“Try me.”

 

“Oh I will,” Viktor replies, voice low and grin roguish as he takes his pole and Yuuri slips just a tiny, _tiny!_ bit on his pole, totally by accident.

 

* * *

 

Katsuki Yuuri is a professional pole aerobics teacher.

 

Professional, mind you.

 

And professionals certainly don’t go falling off their poles the moment their private lesson-only student attempts a spinning straddle…

 

…and then tries a Scorpio, fails utterly at it, tries to cover it up with a simpler inversion and then just giving up generally and leaning down from the pole to give him a very perfect kiss to cover it all up.

 

Cheater.

 

This is how he will go, Yuuri thinks, slain by the hot student he’s trying to teach to pole dance one-on-one.

 

Honestly though? He’s not complaining one bit.

 

Especially when said hot student likes him right back too.

 

“Say Yuuri, I’ll just leave my things in your office first then we can go for dinner-“

 

“Alright!”

 

“…Wait.”

 

“-Wait, wait, wait wait wait no, nononono, Viktor, don’t go into my office, _no-_ “

**Author's Note:**

> My beloved beta: Look, you can't embarrass Viktor in Deck the Halls and leave Yuuri,  
> Me: Say no more I'm on it.
> 
> Also, Happy New Year!!!!
> 
> ...yeah, clearly I did not succeed haha. Will edit this again once I actually get more sleep.
> 
> And wow that title is as bad as I'd thought it'll be. Really, what even is this fic. I just wanted to write Viktor giving Yuuri a kiss on a pole. What happened. Also where did all my actual pole dancing go? Excuse me while I go and strangle my muse.
> 
> let us not talk about this again.  
> ok, or at least until I get myself around to writing what happens in that office.
> 
> find me on [tumblr](http://sushicorps.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/sushicorps/)


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